Managing Stress

If you’ve seen the TV series the ‘The Walking Dead’, I’ll ask you this, would you rather be one of the mindless zombies or, in the group of the ‘survivors’ who were constantly on the move due to the threat of safety and security? I’m guessing neither sounds appealing. There is a constant demand for the adaptive capacity of our mind and body. This is why I want to share a little insight on the power of recognizing stressors. As a mother of three boys, two high schoolers and a first grader, I am pulled in different directions. And registering for four classes this semester has had its bumps, thankfully though, I have understanding instructors. It is important to identify the main sources of our stress triggers. We should also be aware that a certain amount of stress can be beneficial to us. Finally, the world is not a stressful place, but certain patterns in our societal culture have made it seem that way.

Since stress is subjective, let’s look at a few potential ways to pin this down/classify them. Identifying the sources of our stressors is the first step. According to the Mayo clinic in 2023, we should first identify our stress triggers. Whether they are acute in the form of single episodes of a fight-or-flight response perhaps due to a car breakdown on a busy freeway or getting stopped for a traffic offense when you’re already running late for an appointment. It could also be a chronic stress response that can be more subtle but has more long-lasting effects, like a traumatic event, detrimental living conditions, or challenging family or relationship issues. So, we should pay attention to what makes us irritable, worried, tense or angry, sleep deprived, fatigued with headaches, or stomach and digestive issues without any known medical reasons.

According to an article in HelpGuide.org that was updated last October by psychology book editors Robinson and Smith, keeping a stress journal to note down when we feel stressed can help us see patterns and common themes. We should note what caused or may have caused us to stress. How we felt both physically and emotionally. How we responded and what we did to make ourselves feel better. As we evaluate these stressors that can be in the form of physical health challenges, certain academic demands, the overwhelming pervasion of social trends with choices in virtually every area of life, it is important to note when we are our own stressor, putting unrealistic demands on ourselves.

Certain amount of stress can be good for us. According to well-known practitioner of ‘Positive psychology News’ in 2023, Alex Sternick said embracing our vulnerability can be a path to self-acceptance. This means that it is okay, for example to feel a bit intimidated or nervous about going on a first date or starting a new career, both can seem daunting but could open us up to unique possibilities. This also means that we should intentionally accept our weaknesses and shortcomings, but they should not deter us from trying out something we’ve been longing to do.

There are other moments we experience this kind of stress, also known as Eustress, that can make us feel excited with quickened pulses, or one that helps us overcome challenges that are non-threatening. Trying out an immersion in icy water or going on a roller coaster ride might not be our cup of tea, but if we decide to do it despite our reservations, the feeling can be exhilarating! So, unlike distress that is imposed on us, eustress can occur due to our conscious choice to confront stress head-on. Now let’s look at how the effects of our brain wiring can shift our thinking patterns.

The world is NOT actually a stressful place. In the 1995 book ‘Are You Normal? Do You Behave Like Everyone Else?’ the late Bernice Kanner who was a New York marketing expert and columnist stated that researchers found that on average, there were 400 negative comments for every positive one spoken to a child. According to child psychologists, this can be any phrase that comes across as blaming a child for either a behavior or an emotion that they’re having. This constant exposure to negative comments and expectations from family and society can lead to heightened anxiety and stress, which we unconsciously carry to adulthood.

Our adaptive measures may result in busyness or multitasking. According to a UC Berkeley cognitive neuroscientist Dr. Sahar Yousef, multitasking is a myth, and every time we make that back-and-forth switch, we pay a ‘tax’. One that’s draining and costly on both our time and energy. And the impact is burnout and overwork. Sometimes we use busyness as a numbing strategy to avoid considering what we want out of life, or as a defense mechanism to avoid being ourselves. No matter our individual style in the web of busyness or multitasking, making sure we have control of our time is crucial. The key is to use a time management method that helps us distinguish our important tasks from the urgent ones that seem to occupy our time, so we can prioritize accordingly.

To grasp this claim that the world is Not actually a stressful place, think about the power of your perception. Since our individual experiences and genetics shape how we perceive or interpret events, it is important that we keep evaluating how we respond to potential stress triggers. One helpful way is a mind conscious effort to shift our perceived threat to POPP! Which stands for point of positive perception. Understanding the power of positive perception can help us prevent unnecessary stress triggers.

I still experience situations that trigger a stress response, but I’m grateful for the ability to recognize its source. It is important to identify our main stressors, recognize when some unnerving situations can be beneficial to us, and that the world is Not actually a stressful place. So, here’s my two cents, our stressors are not some mindless zombies that need to be appeased, but we on the other hand can be thrivers who know when to use our POPP for our own empowerment!